A whole day later and I am still unsure which way to go with this decision.
Like Donni says, I think I will put in the application and make a decision later. I really do change my mind each morning and evening.
I have been out of full time work for 5 years and out of part time work for 1 year.
At the moment, I get my sense of self from going to the gym (and having personal fitness goals), through my knitting and blogging. This is enough for me to sustain my sense of enjoyment of the children being with them 24/7.
There is enough money to pay the bills. We don't live extravagantly, but we are stable. I am happy at home caring for the kids, if a little socially isolated. I feel the social isolation more keenly at some times than others. During the week, the children and my days are routined and comfortable. I enjoy their company.
Before my feelings about returning to work were truly tested by this position, I wanted to try and last at home until Caitlyn went to Kindy, which is 2 years time. I ideally wanted to get part time work, and go full time when the kids were settled into Years 1 and 3. I thought that I would see them settled first and then look for work then.
Its hard not to get emotive about the decision to be made. I am trying to stay as focused on the different ways I come up with about making the decision. Like looking at it from the perspective of:
- Career opportunity - now vs later. WIll this job/ a job of this calibre crop up again at the "right time"? Should I just grab this opportunity with both hands?
- Regret - which decision will I regret more
- Skill depreciation (thanks Terri!)
- Money (am I just being shallow and putting money before my children)
- Selfishness (am I just being selfish wanting this job? Cause I really want this job for myself)
- how the kids will react/ respond to such a big change
- Missing out (home, special moments, potty training; later tuckshop, P&C, sports days etc)
- Organisation/ stress levels/ is this committment sustainable?
- Disruption to our family unit
- What are my fears when it comes to my children talking about how they were raised
- what values is this teaching my children
- general brain seizure from trying to juggle everything
- less relax time with all the household tasks to be done in the evenings
- How on earth will I manage it when we still run out of milk when I am at home full time?
Onto knitting news:
I am finally finished the dishcloths! The project has already been removed from the sidebar as i am completely over the number of WIPs I have on the needles at the moment. I just want to start something new. I know, I know. Again.
I promised you and here it is, a picture of how much Cotton Ease I have left over in total:
(Blurry hand provided for scale)
And these are the last 2 dishcloths:

The pattern is called "flying geese" and you can print a copy of the pattern from here. ETA: The link was wrong - it is right now - the pattern is on page 4. Stitch detail:

The thing I like about this stitch is that it is completely reversible - great for this kind of project! And what a way to show what only knit and purl stitches can do!
Please feel free to comment some more about this decision. I am not delegating my decision making responsibility to you, gentle reader, and I realise that everyone's situation is different. Nevertheless I am interested in your perspectives and anything else you want to add.